Grieving and the Science of Sensing Presence: A Closer Look

As the festive season approaches, many individuals experience a heightened sense of grief, which can manifest in unexpected ways. Some people report sensing the presence of deceased loved ones during moments of reflection. This phenomenon, known scientifically as “sense of presence” experiences, includes diverse sensations such as familiar scents, shadows, or even comforting touches. Research indicates that these experiences are more common than many realize, with studies showing that between 47 percent and 82 percent of bereaved individuals have reported similar occurrences.

Understanding this phenomenon is crucial, particularly during a time that emphasizes connection with loved ones. The absence of a familiar face at holiday gatherings can intensify feelings of loss. For instance, one participant recalled, “When I sat alone at the dining table, I felt how she put her arm around my shoulders as she used to do when she served me food.” Another shared an experience that left a lasting impression: “I started to smell cigar smoke, and then out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone sitting in the chair. I realized it was my grandfather.”

These accounts reveal a consistent pattern among individuals from various cultural backgrounds in New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and the United States. As part of ongoing research for my PhD, I conducted interviews with 26 bereaved individuals to explore the emotional aspects of these experiences. A notable finding was that the sense of presence correlates more closely with the emotional intimacy of the relationship rather than with spiritual beliefs or cultural practices.

Many reported that these experiences often occurred during times of emotional need or in places deeply connected to the deceased. Interestingly, while some individuals wished for these moments to continue, they often became less frequent over time. This aligns with a landmark study conducted by psychiatrist William Dewi Rees in 1971, which found that nearly 40 percent of 293 widowed individuals in Wales sensed their spouse after death. His work laid the groundwork for understanding these experiences as common and comforting rather than pathological.

Despite the growing recognition of these phenomena, there has been resistance within the psychiatric community to fully embrace the concept of life after death. For decades, the sense of presence was often classified as a hallucination or attributed to spiritual experiences, leaving little room for psychological explanations that resonate with those mourning the loss of a loved one.

A significant shift in perspective emerged in the 1990s with the introduction of the Continuing Bonds Theory, articulated in the publication “Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief” by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman. This theory posits that a sense of presence is a normal part of the bereavement process, reflecting an ongoing inner relationship with the deceased.

In my own research, I am examining the brain mechanisms that may underlie these experiences. It is essential to differentiate between grief-related senses of presence and those linked to neurological phenomena. For example, autoscopic hallucinations, common in certain medical conditions, often feel unfamiliar and unsettling. In contrast, grief-related presences are typically recognized as belonging to the deceased. This distinction highlights the importance of attachment, memory, and meaning in shaping these experiences.

To further investigate these ideas, I am conducting an electroencephalogram (EEG) study to measure brain activity in response to different individuals within a person’s social circle. Preliminary findings suggest that each relationship activates a unique “person network” in the brain, encompassing memory, emotion, and social perception. Understanding these patterns may provide insights into why some individuals continue to feel the presence of loved ones after their passing.

Ultimately, sense of presence experiences reflect how we maintain meaningful relationships beyond physical existence. By exploring these moments and fostering open discussions about them, we can gain a deeper understanding of a common aspect of grieving. This is especially pertinent during the holiday season, a time when the significance of connection is profoundly felt.