Researchers Explore ‘Sense of Presence’ in Grief During Holidays

As the holiday season approaches, many individuals experience a mix of joy and grief. For those who have lost loved ones, the absence of familiar faces at festive gatherings can be particularly poignant. Recent research sheds light on a phenomenon known as the “sense of presence,” where bereaved individuals report feeling the presence of deceased loved ones in various forms, from familiar scents to comforting touches.

According to studies, between 47 percent and 82 percent of bereaved individuals have reported such experiences. This phenomenon can manifest in various ways, such as catching a whiff of a loved one’s favorite scent or even perceiving a shadow that resembles them. One participant recalled, “When I sat alone at the dining table, I felt how she put her arm around my shoulders as she used to do when she served me food.” Another shared, “I started to smell cigar smoke, and then out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone sitting in the chair. … Now whenever I travel, I smell that cigar smoke, and that’s how I know he’s around.”

Understanding the ‘Sense of Presence’

The concept of sensing the deceased is not new. In a pioneering study conducted in 1971, psychiatrist William Dewi Rees found that nearly 40 percent of widowed individuals in Wales reported sensing their deceased spouse. His work laid the groundwork for understanding these experiences as common and often comforting, rather than pathological. Over the decades, however, many psychiatrists framed the sense of presence as either a hallucination or a spiritual experience, leaving little room for psychological explanations that resonate with the bereaved.

A significant shift occurred in the 1990s with the introduction of the Continuing Bonds Theory, which posits that these sensations are indicative of an ongoing relationship with the deceased. Research by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman emphasized that such experiences are not unusual but rather a normal part of the grieving process. Their findings suggest that the sense of presence reflects the bereaved person’s inner relationship with the deceased rather than a sign of unresolved grief.

My own research, part of a PhD study, involved interviews with 26 bereaved individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds across New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and the United States. Participants consistently noted that their experiences of presence were closely tied to the emotional closeness of their relationship with the deceased, rather than their spiritual beliefs or cultural traditions.

Exploring the Brain Mechanisms

In pursuit of understanding this phenomenon, I am investigating the brain mechanisms that might underlie the sense of presence. Early findings suggest that the brain maintains a “person network” that encompasses memory, emotion, and social perception linked to significant individuals. When someone close to us dies, the brain does not immediately update this network. Instead, it gradually adapts, re-learning how to maintain connections that are no longer physical.

This adaptation process does not imply denial of the death. Rather, it reflects a gradual adjustment to a relationship that has fundamentally changed. For example, a person who once shared a meal with us during the holidays may no longer be present, but the brain takes time to integrate this absence into an ongoing inner connection. The sense of presence can thus be understood as an outward expression of this internal representation, where the brain’s stored model of the deceased temporarily influences perception.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial as it distinguishes grief-related presences from neurological phenomena, such as autoscopic hallucinations, which often feel unfamiliar or unsettling. In contrast, those who experience a sense of presence typically recognize the sensation as belonging to the deceased, highlighting the role of attachment, memory, and meaning in shaping these experiences.

To further investigate these ideas, I am currently conducting an electroencephalogram (EEG) study to measure brain activity in response to different individuals within a person’s social circle. Early results indicate that each relationship activates a distinct person network, suggesting that the brain sustains important emotional connections with those who are no longer physically present.

The sense of presence experiences may reflect how we carry meaningful relationships forward, especially during a time of year that emphasizes connection. By exploring these moments and discussing them openly, we can gain a deeper understanding of a common aspect of grieving. As the holiday season draws near, acknowledging the presence of those we have lost can offer comfort and insight into the enduring bonds that shape our lives.