Understanding the ‘Sense of Presence’ in Grief Experiences

As the holiday season approaches, many individuals experience a mix of joy and sorrow, particularly those who are grieving the loss of loved ones. This time of year often amplifies feelings of absence, as families gather to celebrate without certain cherished members. Interestingly, some people report experiencing what are known as “sense of presence” moments, where they feel the departed in their vicinity. These fleeting impressions can manifest as familiar scents, visual apparitions, or even comforting touches.

The phenomenon, scientifically recognized, suggests that between 47 percent and 82 percent of bereaved individuals report such experiences, according to various studies highlighted in a 2020 review. For instance, one individual recalled feeling a deceased relative’s arm around their shoulders while sitting alone at a dining table. Another reported smelling cigar smoke and seeing their grandfather’s silhouette in a chair. These experiences are far more common than many may realize, prompting questions about their significance in the grieving process.

The research surrounding these experiences has evolved significantly since notable investigations. In 1971, psychiatrist William Dewi Rees conducted a landmark study in Wales, finding that nearly 40 percent of widowed participants sensed the presence of their spouses after death. His work laid the groundwork for understanding such phenomena as comforting rather than pathological.

Historically, mental health professionals have grappled with framing these experiences, often categorizing them as either hallucinations or spiritual encounters. This dichotomy limited the exploration of psychological explanations that resonate with the lived experiences of those mourning.

A major shift occurred with the introduction of the Continuing Bonds Theory in the 1990s, as outlined in the influential publication *Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief* by researchers Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman. This theory posits that a sense of presence is a natural outcome of ongoing emotional connections between the bereaved and the deceased.

Current research by various academics, including insights from a PhD candidate who has conducted interviews with bereaved individuals across New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and the United States, supports this view. Participants consistently reported that feelings of presence were closely tied to the emotional significance of their relationships, irrespective of their spiritual or cultural beliefs.

Many individuals noted that these senses often surfaced during moments of emotional need or in locations associated with the deceased. Over time, such experiences tended to diminish, even when individuals expressed a desire for them to continue. This gradual change highlights the ongoing challenge of adapting to the absence of a loved one.

The current research aims to delve deeper into the brain mechanisms that underlie these phenomena. The candidate’s studies propose that the brain maintains a “person network” that encompasses memories, emotions, and social perceptions associated with significant individuals. When someone close passes away, the brain does not immediately reconfigure this network; instead, it undergoes a process of adjustment to preserve the bonds formed during life.

This adjustment is not a denial of loss but rather a re-learning process as individuals navigate a relationship that is now non-physical. The sense of presence can be viewed as an external manifestation of this internal adaptation—a moment when the brain’s stored model of a loved one influences perception.

To further investigate these ideas, a current study employing electroencephalogram (EEG) technology seeks to measure brain activity in response to different people in an individual’s social circle. Preliminary findings suggest that each relationship activates a unique person network, shedding light on why some people continue to perceive the presence of those who have passed.

Ultimately, experiences of sensing a loved one after their death reflect how individuals carry forward meaningful relationships. By exploring and sharing these moments more openly, there is potential for deeper understanding of a common aspect of grief. This is particularly relevant during a season that emphasizes connection and remembrance.

As conversations about grief evolve, the recognition of a sense of presence may provide comfort and insight for those navigating their own journeys of loss.